Slice of Life.

Demon Days

So i dunno why, but i just listened to this album in full a couple days ago. its been on repeat since. its the only album that i can actually…think to. If that makes any sense at all, which it probably doesnt. before this album it was beggars by thrice, but not its the gorillaz. life is life. i cant change things. all i can do is hope for the future and never, ever give up. i finished a movie today thats main pull at the end was to not give up. at all. then i turned on the TV and it was the office where they go on the booze cruise. and what michael said to jim near the end of the episode hit me hard. to lazy to look it up, but if you are that much of a stalker be my guest and this post makes alot more sense. i think life is trying to tell me something.

Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey`s Head

its weird that everyone is leaving off to school and im still making the couch mold to my form everyday. Ya work is picking up, and no that is not a good thing. Who’s idea was it for me to get a job? but its weird because i feel like it would be alot easier if i was leaving with them. If only i had turned those papers in earlier, which i tried and if only my mom didnt put it off till literally the last moment. I think it would be easier that way. Because im sad that i wont see these people for two years, super sad actually, it just doest hit me like it does them because im still here. Not going anywhere for 3 months. I know that im gonna enjoy being homfe for alot longer than expected but it still stinks. But i know that everything happens for a reason. I think that is one of the big things i have learned this year. Everything, and i mean everything, happens for a reason. And i honestly think that life is going to pick up and start going good again. Sure i ramble on and on about how it never does for me, and believe me if you knew me you might agree. Even the guys at school didnt believe me at first, and before they left they agreed on the fact. But for some reason, i just feel really good about life. Like something good is waiting for me at the end of this road. Something that ive worked hard for. Maybe its that pot of gold, and maybe the pot is in mexico somewhere. But i just know that all this is going to pay off. Its nice to have comfort in life for once.

Strange Terrain

I felt the need to break the reblogging bannanza thats happening on the tumblr with a post.

i hate the feeling that you get when you have loads to say but you really cant say any of it. Either you just can’t plain say it, or you just dont know how to say it. I’ve been thinking alot about life lately. Mostly because i get to work about 15 minutes early everyday because im paranoid about being late. So i just sit in the back and swivel around on the swivel chair and talk to myself. Thats right sound the crazy alarm and call the looney police. I dont know what it is, it just seems like life is getting alot more complicated lately. Actually, i take back that statement, i think its just the fact that im thinking about it more, mostly because i have to since D-day looms ever closer. But in all of this chaos, i dont tend to dwell on anything to long, except those hampering thoughts because i know that in the end its all gonna go like its suppose to.

I’ve been listening to Circa alot lately. Thats never a good sign in life. Mix that with the Gorillaz and some skylit drive, it explains why i talk to myself at work. Either that or the fact that some woman was breatfeeding her child while paying for her clothes at the cash register. Oh America.

Bad Breaking

I feel like im in a tunnel. stuck there. and ive asked if im not gonna get out of the tunnel, that my line will just end there. i dont wanna bear through sitting there waiting, wishing, and worrying if im not gonna even make it out. but the next thing that i ask is if i am suppose to make it out, then ill do anything that i have to, just as long as i know im going to make it out. so i stay alive in the tunnel, apparently option B has been fufiled and im suppose to make it out. So i walk and walk, and i see a light. Hopes are restored and optimism is back in my vocabulary, but once i get to the light, i figure out that it was just my mind playing tricks on me, and now my hopes are dashed even more than before, and im lost in the dark more than i should have been. But should really all this be happening to me if its not meant to be? Am i just going to stay in the tunnel and never make it out?

breaking bad is freaking awesome. i should have started this show earlier. next on the list. boy meets world. i feel like it is going to be very life connecting to me over the next 3 months.

rage.

today when i was running i came by a dead humingbird. i dont think i have ever seen one of those before. i wanted to stop and just think for a while, but i knew that if i did i wouldnt start running again. the weird thing is right when i ran by it the headphones blarred the whispering of rage saying “killing in the name of”. weird?
the past few days have been…days. i keep thinking how much time i have left here, but then i think for a couple more seconds and realize that i have no time here at all. It sucks because this mission is the only thing that i have to focus on in life. And since its all i can think about i wanna hang out with everyone like its the last time i can, since it really is, but everyone else has their own mission to deal with. Their own priority in life right now. Sure things change, and hopefully down the road ill get to hang out with people so much that i really cant stand being around them for a while, two years to be exact. Did that make any sense? It all comes down to the fact that i have so much running and blowing up in my head that i cant think straight anymore. The only way its gets out it talking to myself when i have an empty house or during break at work. I know that something is going to happen in the next few months. Life is gonna turn around. And ill get my miracle. If not, then i dont know what to believe anymore.
Everyone started school today but me. Feels weird.

Ppr:kut

im still in the tunnel. and i keep seeing the light, and for once i know its not an illusion. My mind isnt playing tricks with me on this one. But when is the tunnel finally going to end?

this week has been fantastic. one of the best in a while. probably since the con and thrice concerts. Im starting to get more and more excited about leaving. Im still pretty scared. Really scared actually. But i know its what im suppose to do, and hopefully things will work out because of that. When i start writing these posts i keep thinking that its gonna help me out. But i cant figure out what to post thats going to help me.

three months is a long time. anything can happen. two years is even longer.

The Requiem

A suitable and matching ending to a horrible week. Tuesday was the only saving grace. And the linkin park CD. other than that this week has gone down the drain. too bad tomorrow wont be any good either. im just a negative nancy arent i?

Blackbirds

this week is can either be insanely incredible…or one of the worst in the history of weeks.

Waiting For The End

i havent done a post update in a while. and i still dont really have much to update. preseason got underway today, and as bad as the ducks got their butts handed to them, i still couldnt help but be insanely happy when i was watching the games. i dont know what it is, but there is only 2 things in the entire world that makes me forget about…well…everything and hockey is one of them. i cant wait till im at the game next week.

as for life? well its life. im either making the worst decision of my entire living experience here…or making the best one that i could make, and it would change the rest of my life for the better. the alot better. i really hope its the second one. people always talk about that leap of faith? that leap into the unknown? where you can come out either loosing everything you have, or gaining the one thing you dont? well. this is mine.

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